Being a Fan at 25+ : On Why Adulthood Doesn't Mean Outgrowing What You Love

I’m in my twenties and I’ve spent more than half my life in online fandom spaces. I grew up on Tumblr, Ao3 and convention floors. I’ve made friends, learned creative skills and even found bits of myself through fandom culture. But lately, I’ve noticed something creeping into the discourse, that loud judgment aimed at anyone over 25 who still dares to care about fictional worlds, characters or animated shows.

Apparently, there’s an expiration date on hobbies and interests.

Somewhere along the way, “adulthood” got rebranded as a personality trait; one defined by paying taxes, rent and grocery supplies only. And anything that doesn’t neatly fit that image (like collecting music albums at 28 or cosplaying at 30) suddenly becomes cringe or immature. Although I can’t help but wonder: why do we treat interests and enthusiasm as something we’re supposed to grow out of instead of something we grow and evolve with ?

What makes it even more interesting (in a frustrating way) is how gendered this judgment often is. Nobody blinks when a man in his forties paints his face in sport teams colors or screams at a TV for a game. Sports fandoms are socially seen as passion; intense, time-consuming, sometimes expensive but still considered as “normal.” Meanwhile, women (and queer people and anyone in fandoms centered around pop culture, arts or music) get told to move on or that they’re too grown for this. Or that they should instead go feed their kids. There’s an undercurrent of misogyny there, a policing of what women are allowed to love and how long they’re allowed to love it.

And I see that double standard clearly in how people react to collecting. I’ve written before about how some collections (like figurines, limited editions, replicas, mangas…) are often downplayed or dismissed as childish waste, while other forms of collecting (like vinyls, sneakers or even cars) are treated as refined adult hobbies. Personally, as someone who collect figures and objects tied to the worlds and characters I love, I consider my shelves as full of tiny reminders of stories that shaped me. And more than making them happy, people are often considering these as safe places that connect them to something bigger and make them feel accepted. Yet somehow these interests are seen as less valid once you’re old enough to rent an apartment.

But here’s the thing: adults have always been part of fandoms. They’ve built them. The Star Wars fandom was sustained by adults long before the prequels came out. Star Trek conventions in the 1970s were organised by grown-ups, many of them women, who quite literally kept the franchise alive. The Tolkien Society ? Founded in the 1960s by academics and adult readers. Dungeons & Dragons ? Created by adults, played by adults, still thriving decades later. Even before the internet, fandoms were never just for teenagers. They were for anyone with imagination, community and curiosity.

What's funny is that the same people who now joke about “adults in fandom” are the ones benefiting from the modern fan culture that those people built. The structure of fandom; fanfiction archives, conventions, stan accounts, fanarts… Long before this discourse, those were created and sustained by adults who never stopped caring.

As I get older, I realise that the discourse around age and fandom says less about maturity and more about how society values certain kinds of passion. If it doesn’t make money or if it’s not associated with adulthood, it’s dismissed as useless. But maybe being an adult isn’t about giving up what you love. Maybe it’s about loving it more deeply, more intentionally and without shame. In fact, we shouldn't let the world tell us when to stop caring. Whether you’re 16 or 36, there’s nothing immature about finding meaning and connection in the things that move you. Maybe the real maturity lies in refusing to apologise for what you like.

by. CYB3R GREEN